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kosy ([personal profile] daiquiri) wrote2012-01-01 07:43 am

A dump, because I... never do these.

I'll start off with this: I'm not good with words. Really, I'm not--there are lots of things I feel and lots of things I can't express because I really don't know how to portray them eloquently. There's appreciation, admiration, adoration ( I like my As okay!! ) for people that I ... well, don't make known, because I can never find ways or moments to express it properly. As a result, there's times when I miss out on telling people what I think of them. And I think a lot of them! So I'm taking this opportunity to get it all out now, as a way to start the new year. And I'll probably rewrite this a million times or never get this done, but I'll try.

So kosy being a sap: TAKE ONE. I APOLOGIZE FOR INCOHERENCY.

First off: stuff about me... Since maybe ranting about myself will help get the ball rolling for babbling about other people? Anyway, I tend... not to talk about my personal life a lot, only because I don't really like dumping things out, and I don't have much of a right to complain, really. I'm lucky and grateful for what I have--if things turn out badly, it's just something that happens. And I'll get through it.

2011 has been a humbling year for me. I've realized a lot about myself that I didn't know before--limitations, flaws, strengths. Previously, I had somehow found a way to be both undeservingly cocky and self-depreciating. I'd like to think I improved myself, just a little, so that I could be a better person to the people I'm around. I'd like to think I get my feelings across better, sincerely. This year, I had moments where I thought I'd failed everything and things were going to just keep getting worse. I had moments where I felt like I was the most terrible person in the world. I had moments where I screwed up so badly. I cried at my birthday party in front of my cake because decisions to follow expectations were crumbling down around me, and I suddenly couldn't keep up with taking all of the hardest things at the same time. The highest hurdles set out for me in high school were suddenly maybe slightly above average in university, and jumping all of them all at once was impossible for me. My family doctor told me during a check-up that this year would be the year where everything tried to break me. I laughed about it, a little bit, but later I realized what he meant. Yes, 2011 did try to break me.

But, you know, after kicking myself around a bit about it, I realized that it didn't really matter. Yes, I'm not the best at everything I do. I say silly things sometimes. I can be terribly blunt, amazingly dense, unbearably chipper. I can be embarrassing, too stoic. Sometimes I try to do things and I come short. Sometimes I don't pay as much attention as I should. I have lots of bad things about myself, but I'd also like to think I have lots of good things too. I look at the people around me who've supported me through all of my terrible decisions and terrible tantrums and terrible everything... and I think that they're wonderful people and they're sticking here for me, so maybe I've got something too. Something I can give back.

I don't have any specific resolutions for the coming year, save for "be a better person". I want to do everything I can to improve myself further, and maybe give back the little bit of joy everyone gives me. That's the personal stuff.

Now on to what's most relevant here:

RP

First: I'd like to thank everybody who's threaded with me and tolerated me through my slowness. I know I say this a million times, and I'm still trying to reach a level where I'm at least slightly acceptable... but I really mean it. Is it kind of silly that I can feel so incredibly terrible and then a tag comes in that just takes my mood to 9999? Because that's how I feel when I get things from Route, CFUD, and Marina--even for the short time I was in the latter.

FOR A HOBBY, I kind of freak out about this way too much. YOU PROBABLY KNOW MY CANON REVIEW TENDENCIES. I will one day calm my tits, but yeah I just want to match everyone's amazingness. Because at the end of the day, I love all the CR I've made and people I've met.

I'd like for you to know: please don't hesitate to be honest with me if something I do is hurting your enjoyment. I won't be mad at all, and odds are I'm not doing it on purpose, and I want to know so I can try to fix it if I'm not working on it already. I'm not the best person and I know it, but I want to try to be better. It's not on you to call me on my mistakes, because in the end they're my mistakes, but that's just a thing I wanted to say. Also another thing:

I'm kind of terribly scared of losing BONDS!! that I've made here, because um that can be terribly easy in any kind of setting, but especially in one like this... and you all mean a lot to me. I'll try to go into specifics as best I can, but again I'm not good with words.

okay now on to things. there's... lots of people I could've added onto this list, but I wanted to get this done as soon as possible so I'm just hitting the people I talk to... well, very consistently. sob. I'll start off with games (and casts)...

GAMES

ROUTE
Wow, okay. I've been here for one whole year and a couple of months. Route is my, um, second LJ game and... well, my home game. I apped on a whim thanks to Beato, who enabled me into it from a dear_mun post.

And, well, I'd like to say that I don't regret joining it at all. There's been a couple of rough spots along the way... But most of the people I've met come from here, and everyone I've talked to / played with has been amazing both IC and OOC. OKAMI and STORMY, thank you for taking the time to create this game, and thank you for being wonderful moderators. I know you work so hard to make things work, and I can't really imagine running something this size, especially with the things you get sometimes. I wish you both the best for 2012, and thank you so much for talking to me and welcoming me so openly. I've felt so at home in Route, and you two really helped that. KIT--you're an inspiration in terms of art and creativity for me. I'm always amazed to see your talent at words and setting... I hope one day I can create atmospheres as flawlessly as you do.

For my casts:

PERSONA 4 CAST
Hi, guys. To be honest, I never actually thought I'd play in a Persona cast. Ever. Especially not for this long. I... also never thought I'd play in one with as much talent as this one. Really. You all have such a way with threading that I'm awed at--and I'm so incredibly honored and, um... well, incredibly happy, to be part of something like this. You know how Teddie actually feels in game? That's how I feel. Except I hope I'm not actually SPOILERS, and I certainly hope I don't give Aly as much headaches as Teddie gives Yosuke. I would feel kind of bad about that... but only kind of (just kidding aly!!).

First: an apology. I know I'm not the best castmate sometimes. And I know for sure that I'm not the castmate that you guys deserve, because damn you guys deserve an amazing castmate. ICHI, with the wonderfully balanced Souji. ALY, with the Yosuke that manages to bring in the charm he had in the game. KIA, who plays a Rise with an energy and sincerity that I just can't process sometimes. LINLIN, with the Kanji who kind of makes me cry in adorable. Please, tell me to get bent. RUNE, who managed to take a social link character and slot them in flawlessly into the setting with such depth. If I didn't know P4, I would have thought Yumi was playable. I'm sorry I didn't give her the attention she deserved. AME, whose Nanako is also sincere as she was in game. SHAY, your Chie is just so wonderfully in tune with canon and I'm so glad to play with her (considering I stalked in CFUD)! KERI, your Naoto was the perfect mix of intelligence and... well, humanity. LIAH, I have not yet played with your Yukiko but from what I've seen... well, I hope to soon. AMELIA--the short thread we had was beautiful, and I'm sad I didn't get to play with your Yukiko more too. There's... a lot I can say about all of you, but haha I want to pump this out best I can. Please know I appreciate you all as castmates... and I'm really thankful I got to play with all of you.

PRINCE OF TENNIS CAST
Um, hi. Thanks for enabling me into this you jerks!!!!! GO AWAY no I'm joking. Actually, I'd like to really thank you all from the bottom of my heart for accepting me into this cast so easily. It... should've been incredibly daunting now that I think about it, but you were all so welcoming straight off the bat that I didn't really think about being intimidated about matching up to the amazing way you all played your characters. In the end I didn't match up, but I don't regret the fact I tried.

Anyway, struggling with playing a Prince of Tennis character has kind of made me ogle the way you guys manage to play things out even more. Even if you've dropped, even if I haven't threaded with you--odds are I've read what you've written and loved it.

BASARA CAST
THANKS FOR ENABLING ME YOU JERKS.

But um, am I allowed to show appreciation for you guys as a whole here? Because you've all been so incredibly kind to me and... tolerated me through my kind of... freak-out dive into this fandom. I'm not part of this cast, but I just want to say thank you.

Also now that I'm canon familiar, I can comfortably say you guys are wonderful. You portray the spirit of canon very well, and I KNOW IT'S DIFFICULT so I'm really impressed you guys do it so... well, true to canon.

LAYTON CAST
Thank you for being so welcoming in my transition to Route. I'm not in it anymore, but I still look back on old threads and am amazed, because you all kept to the charm of the game so well.

I'm glad you guys were my introductory push into Route. Because I really could not have asked for a kinder, more beautiful cast. Thank you.

999 CAST
oh god thanks for enabling me too YOU JERKS

but no, there were and are so many talented writers in this wonderful cast. SHARI, honey, you have a way of packing so much EMOTION into a thread, and I loved threading with you. You really played June so well, and gave her so much with what was alluded in game. JAN... your Santa. Oh my goodness, your Santa. I loved playing Snake off of him, and you can't ever doubt that because I stayed up until 5 AM JUST threading with you okay. MARION... your Ace. We got into some shenanigans and they were all beautiful. So are you! Thank you for choosing SAFE END of all things, oh my god. GREY... Your Seven was just. You have this quirky way of playing your characters that fit him so perfectly. You're also so witty and funny. I don't think I ever had a conversation with you that didn't make me laugh. Blind kung-fu? AUSTE: thank you for playing the Little Sis to my Big Bro. We're not in the same casts and we don't play anymore, but I do read her and she's as wonderful as she was when I played Snake. You are still my Lil Sis, even if I'm not a Blind Badass on the Internet anymore... and you are so incredibly sweet. AMELIA... to your Lotus... You managed to portray her so well with the little attention she got in game, and. Well. You really pulled it off. Everything she said I could slot perfectly well into the script in my mind. Thank you.

Alas, NUMBER 9... we never got you, but we knew ye well.

DEVIL SURVIVOR CAST
AUUUUUUUUGH I got to play DeSu on the INTERNET. And NAOYA, too. I'm running out of coherency here so I can't effectively display what I feel, but a special thank you to SEVE and DOJI for playing such a wonderful MC and Apprentice... I loved to troll you guys, hurhur.

There's other casts in my time here that I also appreciate but just... can't find words to say right now. Tales of, in particular, but know that everything I've said above also extends to you. I just find it kind of repetitive, since I share a lot of casts with people I've... already mentioned. And I hope they know what I think of them.

To all my CR: thank you, for giving me so many wonderful moments and threads. You know who you are. Teddie and Cocona, Sheryl and Jade, Ieyasu and Judith... IDOLS!! and Judith, Xion and Jade, Kaito and Teddie... There's so many more that I could list, but gosh if I said everything I loved I'd be here all night. But know that I really appreciate it.


CAMPFUCKUDIE
So I've had a lot of ups and downs here... and frankly I'm still kind of terrible at playing at Camp. HOWEVER, I have made friends that I love and appreciate here too... ANGEL BEATS CAST, thank you for being so wonderful despite the fact I kind of faded into the background. IN MY DEFENSE, I was also perfectly IC because I played Ooyama. TUES--I'll admit you actually intimidated me at first, but now I realize I didn't have much to be intimidated about... because you're so friendly and kind and I'm amazed at how easy it was to talk to you. Please, keep drawing and posting it up, because I love seeing your skill at detail and design. JIBBA--I loved your Kokonoe and I'm floored by the way you take so many characters and portray them so well. I had a short run, playing Yui... and playing her made me wonder how the heck you could play her energy so well. IZZY-- oh gosh your Origami Cyclone... /// You are so friendly and a real dear. Also draw more so I can see it!! DEJI--i hate you (just kidding, you get your blurb). MITSU--you get your blurb too...

BLAZBLUE CAST!!!
MITSU AND DEJI THANKS FOR ENABLING ME YOU JERKS!! but no, you're all wonderful and... have also been incredibly kind and welcoming. Except most of you fall into the angel beats cast so what am i doing saying thank you to you again

especially you deji

A personal note to SQUEE: I'll be honest and say I'm incredibly intimated by your Hazama. That's perfectly IC so it's totally okay (jkjk). But no, I'll be serious now... Anyway, we don't talk much admittedly, but when we do I really enjoy it. You've been friendly all the times I've approached you.. and also a joy to thread with whenever I stop being terrible at camp. You do so many things and I'm amazed at how well you play your characters and how fun you are to thread with. I'm sorry that I made it really hard to play your troll, but I'm also glad you kept him... because he's a pleasure to read. For you, I'll try to be a better castmate. Because you deserve one.

For 2012, let's go for 100 deaths!

FOR GARY OAK
Thank you for letting me app you. I'll be paying royalties for using your face on the internet soon. Please don't hack me.


MARINA
So I'm not in this anymore. Yep... but I also loved every month I had here. TALES OF cast--you were wonderful and continue to be wonderful in the way you carefully craft every word. KAY, LI: thank you for providing me with a wonderful Yuri and Flynn, and for being such welcoming mods to this little newcomer who was kind of daunted at playing on a new site. JES, thank you for being the Guy Cecil to Judith's breasts (okay no). You have a talent with letting characters blossom even if they're of little words, and I really look forward to seeing your Judith around some more. Also, purple prose battle. ARI--Tear is damn hard to play and I have no idea how you manage it. BUT MAN, I loved playing with her for the short time I did.

PANDORA HEARTS CAST... thank you for sneaking up on me out of nowhere, HAHA. I remember apping Oz as a first choice and that kind of fizzled out, and I was so upset because then YUUL apped in Elliot...

... and I am so glad she did, because oh my god she attracted so many wonderful writers. To Yuul: I'm really glad I got to play the Leo to your Elliot, and for going through so many things with me. PAR and VAL: thank you for playing such a beautiful Oz, Break and Vanessa: I'm humbled by the fact I got to play with you, considering you're all wonderful. SELE... I got to play with a Lottie, and such a wonderful one at that. ANJU: Gilbert... ;w; Thank you for apping him in, because he got into some shenanigans and I loved to read him.

ASGARD
I'm sorry I'm failing. But I'd like to thank everyone for being super friendly and I can't really write a blurb for you all since... I'm, uh. Yeah. Instead you get a resolution: TAG ALL THE THINGS.

PERSONAL BLURBS
So now it's 3 AM and I get to dump MORE FEELINGS. I REALLY warn for coherency this time because now it gets to... uh, the point where I don't know how to describe things.

i am so screwed

ALEX
Oh, gosh. I'll admit you intimidated me so badly but now I look back and wonder why was I intimidated? Except not, because I do know why I was intimidated. Quite well, actually. Alex: you manage to always floor me with your intelligence. You are so incredibly eloquent, and... well, you have lots of traits I wish I had. You're also so incredibly supportive. You're there when people need it, and man, your wit and charm never fails to make me laugh. You have such a way with words that cheers me up, and I'm really glad we got to talk a fair bit in the past couple of months. Thank you for allowing me to ride shotgun, and I hope I can still talk shenanigans with you even if I'm not in tennis cast.


To you, I wish a 2012 that's as flawless as a megane-code conversation between Yagyuu and Tezuka.


ALY
I don't know what to say to you that I haven't said so many times before. I always worry that what I'm typing is so increasingly repetitive that it begins to lose meaning--but... I'm not sure how else to say it, or what else to say, since... well, I mean everything I tell you. I'm amazed by the way you tackle things with dedication... Your talent in conveying emotion in writing... Your wit, friendliness, and honesty. You are sincere and I'm amazed by that; you always go strong, you're not scared to say what you mean, and I admire that. You're also incredibly caring--you're a good friend, Aly, and you deserve a lot. Thank you for letting me both a castmate and friend, and I hope we can continue. <3


I didn't save all those gifs on your harddrive, but I hope you have a 2012 that's as shiny as Yosuke's headphones after Teddie probably dropped them in the toilet.


ICHI
I admit I don't talk to you as much as I want to, but you're still the same as ever. In which I mean you're wonderful, energetic, and strong. If I had to say ONE thing I think of when I think of you, it's that Protagonist quality of caring about other people so much even when you're struggling through things yourself. I don't know how you do it; one day I'd like to be even half as personable and wonderful as you are. Please, hang in there through everything. I'm here if you need me, like always--you'll always be my Professa and Sensei. You have charisma. Thank you for welcoming so nicely to Route. Thank you for staying with me.


My heart still hurts from the puns, but I hope you have 2012 as perfect as Souji's bowlcut.


KIA
Aibou, aibou, aibou. You are a trooper. You, who's always pushing on forward even when life is pushing back. You, who somehow extends a hand to people who's pushing even when you're still pushing life's FMLs away. You, who writes such wonderful things for people and goes through on so many promises and just does so many good things without batting an eye. You... deserve a whole lot of good things, and I hope you get a whole lot this coming year. Thank you for being my aibou, and always being there when I needed it. I hope I can do the same for you.


We're still the Platinum Pair, and I hope you have a 2012 that's as strong as the uppercuts Rise reserves for Teddie's face.


HAKI
I also don't talk to you as much as I should... but I want to say thank you for all the things you've given me through 2011. Thank you for being so incredibly friendly even through my slight awkward? You're so incredibly witty, and I'm really glad we met, because... well, you're a wonderful person. Your energy is contagious and dlgjd your taste in music... I remember a great many AIM convos with you.

To you, I wish a 2012 as bright as Cocona's photon saber.

JAN
. . .

okay no jan, i'd like to say thank you. Thank you for going along with my insanity. Thank you for providing me with so many smiles throughout the year. Thank you for sharing your talent with the world because holy crap woman dem colorings. You're such a beautiful person who deserves a whole lot, because you give out a lot. SURE YOU JUDGE ME A LOT. But we know it's fun, and I sure have a heck of a lot of fun talking to you. We should meet up sometime, I think! I'll let you make all the decisions.

To you, I wish a 2012 that's as wonderful as the feeling of dotting at me after I say something particularly stupid.

JAE
I love taking walks with you!

But on a more serious note, Jae, thank you for gracing me with your charm and wit, because gosh you have so much of it. I can't even explain how much I love talking with you, because.... they're so fun. You're fun, energetic, lighthearted--we can do so many things together because you're so creative and man we did a math thread together in RP do I even need to explain how AWESOME that is. who else did a math thread in RP? LOGARITHMS MAN.

but seriously jae I could go into how much ilu but I think you know that. I hope we can one day find ourselves in a game together... and maybe we'll bring math into the equation again.

To you, I wish a 2012 that's Fun^Pascal.

DANA
can i make you scroll too or is that your thing

IS THAT YOUR THING??

WELL TOO BAD IT'S MY THING NOW TOO okay no seriously

Dana. Dana. I have no idea how this happened but it kind of did and I have zero complaints because. um. God I don't know it's 4 AM and trying to say things is hard especially when it comes to stuff like this.

First, I'll say that it doesn't feel like I've known you for a few months. I think I've said that once to you before, but I'll say it again because it's true. You were friendly to me right from the start, and when you joined Route I honestly didn't expect that I'd get... well, a dear friend in such a short span of time.

You. You are a shining star and I want you to know that I think that, and I want you to know that. Talking to you never fails to make me smile. Ever. Your sincerity, generosity, kindness--it always amazes me to see you, because you work so hard and give so much... and as a person you're so wonderful that I just really don't know what to say.

Thank you for being so nice to me, and accepting me as easily as you did. I'm really glad you joined Route. I'm really glad we met. I hope I can be the friend you are to me, and I hope we can continue to talk no matter what, because... you're included in those I don't want to lose. I know there's people that think the exact same way that I do right now--and I just hope you can feel how much happy you bring us.

You're not being clingy, by the way. I'm being clingy, gosh.


To Dana, I wish a 2012 that's as symmetrically beautiful as Ieyasu's abs. That makes no sense whatsoever, but what I mean to say is that I hope both halves of the year are beautiful.

Or something.


also i hope you read this on a bus so you can wibble in public!!! I WIBBLED IN PUBLIC SO YOU SHOULD TOO

CAL
Hi. I'm glad I spontaneously added you. Can I say that? Okay, cool.

But no, seriously Cal. I have... so much respect for you. I have no idea how someone can be such a sweetheart. I have no idea how I can look at someone and go "GOD this person is like sugar incarnate what is this?", because that's what I think when I see what you do.

Cal. You're a wonderful person. The way you support people, the way you just... do and say so many meaningful things effortlessly, like they're just natural to you... and then you go ahead and do more. The way you stay strong even when you're kind of down. You greet everyone with a smile, and I really admire that.

I haven't known you super long either. It's the same thing here that it is with Dana though (BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO MATCH ALWAYS)--I feel like I've known you longer than a couple months. I'm... really grateful that I have the privilege of knowing someone as kind as you. I hope one day I can be even half the person you are.


To you, I wish a 2012 that's as steady and smooth as Mitsunari's hairstyle. Don't know how he does that. Maybe he's born with it. Or maybe it's Maybelline?


YUN
I don't know how this happened either. I really don't. Waifu--thank you. I want to say thank you so many times because these past few months have been wonderful, and I'm really glad to have met you. You're so caring, intelligent, kind--only we could sit in teahouse for eight hours and regret nothing after. Thanks for punching me at Sherlock Holmes, by the way. I FELT SUPER CLOSE TO YOU THEN.

I don't regret spontaneously adding you, either. I remember being amazed at how open you seemed to people who approached you--how talented you were. And then I got to know you and I was even more amazed, because how someone could be so... well, wonderful, and think almost nothing of it is beyond me.

You mean a lot to me. You always make sure everyone is included--you take great care in things, and I know you've been there when I felt kind of crappy and gave me the push I needed to go on. I hope I can provide that push for you sometimes too. Though really you deserve a Hyoutei cheering squad. Five Hyoutei cheering squads. To your creativity: applause. Thank you for indulging me in our musebox threads.

To you, I wish a 2012 with levels of AWESOME as high as Fuji and Jade's levels of TERRIBLE.

CAITIE
so I haven't known you all that long either but

god

YOU WERE SO FRIENDLY and I don't know how someone can be so cute, because you somehow manage it. How dare you think you're not! Lying through your teeth! But Caitie, bby, I'm really glad we met because... gosh, you're so fun to talk to. You're also so incredibly open and... amiable and how can I even explain how easy it is to talk to you.

You're a joy. I love seeing the energy you display, because... it's so contagious. I really hope we get to talk more through this year, because I know for sure I want to get to know you better.


To you, I wish a 2012 as slick as Kojuro's hairstyle. I really do like it, I'm just being tsundere.


KIMI
YOU ARE THE SUN

NICHIRIN!!!

On a more serious note I really don't know what to say, Kimi. First, let me at least outline that I mean everything I type. Even if you don't think it's true, you really are this way to me. I'm awed by you, because you're so... well, intelligent. Witty. Funny. Talking to you is a pleasure, and I really would like to do it more. Again, I haven't known you long... but from what I've seen, you really are wonderful.

You're also one of those I'd like to talk to more. I hope you don't mind?

To you, I wish a 2012 that's as awesome as Mouri's hat is tall. ... Okay, so there are taller hats, but you have to admit that's a pretty tall hat.

I just want you to have an awesome 2012 okay!

KATY
senior masamune...

OKAY so I kind of think you're adorable. Really adorable. You have such creativity and a fun personality, and what you do never fails to make me laugh. Admittedly I don't know you that well, but you really have a charm that's hard to explain. I hope we can talk more. I wish you good luck with everything! o/

You know I'm going to wish a 2012 that's enjoyable for you... Think of Masamune's feelings if he was stuck in an eternal battle with Yukimura. Those are the feelings I hope you have this coming year, only with less punching.

KAMILAH
You. Kamilah. You are so generous, kind, and considerate. Also incredibly talented with what you do, because I always find that every thread I read of yours is ... well. tugging right at my heart strings.

You're always around giving people hugs and love on plurk, and I know for sure that I feel good when I talk to you, even though I don't talk to you much. You reach out to people and I'm just always so amazed at how easily you do this. You never let people feel neglected, and you pay attention to everyone. I really admire that.

To you, I wish a 2012 that's as strong as the bond Merlin has with Teddie. Because Teddie loves his bro.

KOYU
woooooah chitoyu we haven't known each other very long at all, but I've found that welp. I feel like I've known you longer than I have! You're so friendly. I found it incredibly easy to approach you, and you've been approaching me just as much too. I really like talking to you because we have... silly conversations like stalker Chitose and one-way windows goodness I don't know. I really hope we talk more, and by hope I mean we're talking more because like heck I'm going to stop!

deal with it, I've got you in my zone. Also, your coloring is forever gorgeous and I'll never stop staring at it. DAT GRASS.

I hope your 2012 is wonderful, just like Chitose's stalking skills. He's a stalker, don't deny, he's got Tezuka in his sights.

ANNA (ROUTE)
I MISS YOU!! ;a; But seriously Anna I love talking with you because we can go through so many things and say so many things and there's never a dull moment. Like I said before, you're incredibly talented and I'm so glad I met you, because you're kind and funny and gosh Shiraishi is just getting lost all over the place isn't he? You make up such lovely shenanigans and go along with crazy things, and I just love that. Please, let's keep talking! I hope I put a smile on your face, because you always put a smile on mine.

To you, I wish a 2012 that's as fabulous as a certain Shitenhouji captain.

ANNA
Wow, I'm glad you didn't poof from my life because... I would be missing out on quite a fair bit.

Anna, you've always been so incredibly friendly and supportive of me, and I want to thank you for that. There's never been a moment where you haven't made me smile by going along with my silly jokes, where you've made your own witty comments, where you've just been you and just made me laugh because... you're so energetic, and it rubs off. I really really like talking to you, because you're... just so fun! And I hope we can continue, because yes.

To you, I wish for a 2012 that's beautiful... like Kanji's sewing. I can hear GET BENT in my head right now.

DEJI
OH GOD YOU

get to see my dere just this once so treasure it, because I'm not showing it again!

Deji, I find it so fun to talk to you. You go along with my stupid and are just so open and funny I really can't handle it. ONLY YOU can I express playful disdain for and indulge in punching contests with. ONLY YOU can I do a double-app for Gary Motherfucking Oak for the sole purpose of doing it to bash my app. ONLY WITH YOU can it backfire... so beautifully...

But no Deji there are just so many things I can say that I really can't say because I can only express them with my fist in your face. JK. Thank you for being so incredibly welcoming to me. Thank you for being so incredibly easy to talk to. Thank you for being so fun and providing me with a smile when I'm having a dreary day, or maybe when my mood starts to take a bit of a dip. You are one of the major reasons I stayed in CFUD after my... um, fourth time? Is it fourth?, and I'd like you to know that I consider you a friend.

I miss having crazy convos with you. Don't be a stranger, okay?

To you, I don't wish a happy 2012!! WHY THE HECK WOULD I. But no, seriously: to you I wish a 2012 that's as cheery as nyan nyan nyan nyan ni hao nyan. Deculture!

MITSU
Mitsu. Mitsu. You're just like Deji in the "top reasons I stayed in CFUD" department, because god you're so... friendly. So... cute. So... NICE!! and I'm really glad you enabled me even if I'm kind of terrible at camp still, because um it's been really fun.

Talking with you is always a joy even if we don't do it often--we had silly conversations that usually end in terrible things being added to the topic (which reminds me I should.... pop into chan), but I don't regret any of them. Please, keep enabling me, because it's always lead to such good things. Also, let's keep talking. #LAZYHAREMS, making decisions always.

To you, I wish you a 2012 that you can love as deeply as Jin loves Ragna. Just with less slicing-of-the-year thing... unless you want to, then that's totally cool.

CEE
Hi, honey. You know what I feel about you. Thank you for being my chameleon husbando, and being there for me. Remember that I'm always here for you if you need me, and I will always always try to provide at least a listening ear. I love your enthusiasm and the way I can openly talk to you with no barriers.

You go through so much, which is why I'm amazed that you can handle it and still come out so strong, and still offer me a ear to talk to if I need it. I really appreciate that.

Ilu lots, and I hope the next year brings you something as bright as Survival Strategy.

KEV
'SUP MY MAIN MAN.

Gosh, Kev, you are just hilarious. I don't know how many times I can say this because you probably know this already but damn, you just find ways to make me laugh all the time. You're also incredibly friendly--I... know that I'm sure not scared to talk to you, and I in fact look forward to our conversations very much. You have a way of making people feel included, I think? At least, I felt that way. And I'd like to thank you for that, because it's never been a dull moment with you around.

To you, I wish a 2012 that's as promising as the sales of Maria's photobook.

TIV
Hi, Tiv. I'm super glad I got to add you and meet you in Blazblue chan because you are just a sweetheart. COME HERE, YOU, AS I SKIP ACROSS A FIELD OF FLOWERS. First, let me just say that I love your art. Your style. So bold and stylish--elegant... I really love when I talk with you, because it's never boring and always kind of amazing. I hope we have another pchat session sometime. I really, really enjoyed that! Your friendly and outgoing personality are always a joy to see!

I hope you end up.. you know, doing the appy thing. nudge nudge, because I know I'd love to RP with you too. You're wonderful.

To you, I wish a 2012 that's as bouncy as our many frolics through Blazblue chan's imaginary fields.

CAITSHUA
Aw, I miss you sweetheart. We've been through a whole lot, and man you are still my high-school experience haha. I'm really glad I got to know you and met you, because at the end of the day there's been so many conversations I can read through that just bring a smile to my face.

Smashing an orange tree through a window? Jizzarius? Our TWEWY phase, KH phase, PH phase. Fandom hoppers... You're such a talented, wonderful person and a kind girl, who I'm sure has a lot ahead of her. I know everything's busy, and I just want you to know that I'm always always rooting for you.

To you, I wish a 2012 that's as mindblowing as JOSHUA IN 3D!!

PAR AND VAL
You two get a mention here together because my feelings for you two are... well, kind of similar, and I always associate you two together. Don't ask me how that works.

Anyway, I'd just like to thank you both for being so supportive of me and sticking by me even after I dropped Marina. You're both such wonderful people, and I'm incredibly humbled by the fact that such wonderful people would want to stick by me even if... we don't share a game. You still talk to me as you always have, and I'm really glad you two do because... you're both amazing, so I'm glad I didn't lose you.

Thank you for being there for me when things kind of screw up. Thank you for being so fun, friendly, and kind. Please keep RPing so I can keep stalking, because gosh I love reading your threads.

To you two, I wish a 2012 that's as clear as Pandora Hearts' confusion.

God, I could say so much more but I want to finish this as quick as I can, and it's 5 AM so I don't know how good I can be.

Other people I think deserve love who I haven't mentioned at length personally are SELE (talking to you is fun to, and I'm always so floored by how talented you are), HEI (you're abusive! But I really like talking to you, though you're so tsun gosh stop it), RUNE (you really hang in there and, though we don't talk a lot, I think you're an amazing and talented individual. I hope we get awesome CR at Asgard ♥), MANDA ( I want takoyaki... you... our convos are fun, and you're a real sweetheart ♥), SUMI ( SUMI I love our threads so much and you're just so friendly, I'm really glad I know you ), LE PILLAR/SHOE ( You are so sweet, cute, and really the biggest Disney Princess ever stop denying it. I need to text you more because I truly enjoy our conversations together, and I hope we have a lot more. ), SHARI ( who never fails to make me laugh and awe me with both her skill and charm ), AMELIA ( who is incredibly friendly and one of the nicest people I have the pleasure of knowing, even slightly ), RELLE ( who is wonderfully intelligent and so much fun; thank you for providing me with the hideous that was Jade and Yuushi ) and REINE ( who always spends so much time supporting other people, including myself. You're someone who I can really admire... let's musebox some hideous sometime, okay? :P )

I wish every single one of you the happiest New Year possible, and oh god this was kind of a mammoth. I'm glad I kind of got this all out though, because... you guys all deserve to hear it.

Thank you for making my 2011 a whole lot brighter. Please know I think a whole lot of all of you, even if I'm not that good with words. I hope the pictures were at least worth a thousand, even though knowing me that probably isn't enough.

Terrible at portraying messages to the end, so I'll just make that a resolution for next year. ♥

ALSO, the pictures are not done. I... ended up doing it for characters that came to mind first and only a couple who I felt confident in, because it's 6 AM and I don't think this is something I can do in one sitting.

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